omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she looked like the before picture.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
