A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
