just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
