it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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