don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
