Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
