so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
