It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize