Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Randomize
