he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
