i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
