I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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