If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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