STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize