found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
