hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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