How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
