That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
