the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
