By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
