Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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