Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
