Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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