I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
