Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Randomize
