I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
