Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
