Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
