I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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