She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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