I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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