I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
