4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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