is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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