We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
