was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We got so high we made milksteak
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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