We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
