Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
