and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
