Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
