if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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