idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
