Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
