i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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