are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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