I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
