I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
