white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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