nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
