I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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