dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
