Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
