i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dick very happy bro
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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