Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
