Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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