D3 body, D1 cock
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
