There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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